Social Fitness

5 ways to move your connection muscle

Photo by mauro mora on Unsplash

We’ve chatted a bunch here about the fact all the good things in my world have come about from a foundation of personal strength.

I found my voice in the weightroom.

You may have uncovered your power through meditation, yoga or pickleball.

No matter how we construct this foundation it provides us the solid ground we humans require to grow, expand and create the confidence to try new and scary things.

We’ve also learned about my unabiding love for paralleling everything to fitness.

Rather than being a lazy default (I’d own it if it were!) for me it’s a way of distilling the complicated to its essence and paralleling to something we all know.

Social fitness is precisely like physical fitness

💪 When we lift the weight meet the human is not when we gain the muscle BFF

💪 If we repeatedly do the same exercises social stuffs eventually they becomes less effective

💪 Consistency is KEY

Social fitness is about maintaining other people (vs muscles or VO₂ max), keeping what’s happening with them consistently in mind and (like getting to the gym/executing the workout this is the hard part→) making the time to reach out and connect.

Social fitness demands consistency and daily discipline exactly like the physical.

Social Fitness on the streets of Tel Aviv.

A gathering of women who were strangers with shared goals.

Social Fitness *vulnerability* in action as we listened to a meditation and had the opportunity to volunteer to walk the center aisle and experience connective touch.

Good to know, but how do we get started?

📌 Diversify Workouts

Just as we work different muscle groups in the gym we need to diversify our social interactions.

For me, someone who is pretty good with the mixing up of the movement, this diversification of social can prove to be a challenge.

I tend to get my connection from a few different places (friends, fam, neighbors, local community center) and although this is great (yay more than one place!) it also sets me up for plateauing (just like in fitness).

I’m definitely limiting myself with regards to meeting new people and forging better social strength.

When we make an effort to join *new* clubs or *different* community groups we ensure we’re consistently exercising a variety of social "muscles."

📌 Consistent Training

Similar to how regular gym sessions are key for building our physical strength—we need to attend social events consistently.

When we regularly engage in social activities they become a habit and this habit is the only way we strengthen social skills and expand our social network.

Just like my beloved weights, social fitness requires consistent effort. I can't expect to see progress if I only engage socially sporadically.

Committing to and maintaining regular interactions is key.

📌 Challenge Yourself

AKA progressive overload.

In the gym, progress is made by pushing our known limits.

By seeing if we can lift more weight this session than in the past.

By seeking failure.

When it comes to social fitness, we can challenge ourselves by stepping out of our comfort zones and engaging in new situations.

For me this looks like saying YES I’D LOVE TO! when inside I’m thinking That sounds terrifying.

See also the photo above in Tel Aviv.

When we step out of our comfort zones and attend events or join activities that may initially feel daunting we offer ourselves opportunity for growth and connection.

The most socially fit humans among us are also some of the happiest.

Robert Waldinger

📌 Set Goals

I’m not one to set specific fitness goal (e.g. increasing strength or flexibility) but many of us are.

When it come to *social* fitness I absolutely am.

For me setting goals like expanding my inner circle of friends, increasing the number of neighbors I know or deepening existing relationships really helps guide my efforts, measure progress and keep me from quitting.

📌 Recover and Reflect

AKA the ever important Strategic Pauses.

Just as rest and recovery is vital for muscle growth, it’s important we make time to reflect on our social interactions.

Evaluate what went well and what you can improve upon.

What with hindsight might you have done differently?

This reflection (and social battery recharge!) allows for continual growth in our social fitness.

As humans our ability to connect with each other is our superpower.

Here’s the thing, the love of the weights may come easily to me but when it comes to social interaction I refer to myself as the awkward gazelle.

Those two words next to each other capture my social fitness perfectly:

I’m doing it. I’m bumbling and ungainly. I get back out there and do it again the next day no matter what.

So the next time you're feeling hesitant about reaching out or striking up a conversation—channel me and remember it's all just like that last rep or set in the gym.

We’ve got to push through the discomfort in order to see results.

Who’s with me?