love ritual from Asia
I easily form routines in my life.
I do not have enough rituals.
Recently I’ve been journaling about the two, how they relate to each other, how I relate to each of them and how I could infuse some of the latter into the former.
What started me thinking was the fact on the surface my routines and rituals appear alike.
When I looked closer, however, I discovered for me one anchors while the other elevates.
Let’s break it down.
Rituals and routines are both regular practices, yet they serve slightly different purposes and operate on different levels of significance.
Routines are habitual activities that structure my daily life.
They're practical and functional (setting up my coffee for the next morning before bed or taking the doodle outside with the aforementioned coffee in the morning).
I have a bunch and I love them!
Routines provide scaffolding for life.
My routines offer stability, efficiency, and ease. They are essential for maintaining order and productivity in my life.
Rituals, on the other hand, are more symbolic and carry deeper meaning.
They are ceremonial’esque actions that hold significance beyond their sometimes surface practical functions.
Rituals can be religious, cultural, personal or even organizational. They can mark transitions (my daughter & I perform the ritual of smudging each time we move), honor relationships, or provide a sense of connection and meaning.
I don’t have many rituals.
I could write a snippet here about …that’s because everything in my life is a beautiful ritual but that wouldn’t be true.
I have routines I treasure.
Weekly zooms between my parents in Pennsylvania and my kidult and me in Austin.
Sunday nights with my daughter where we laugh, talk and plan the week ahead.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday early morning time with friends.
These and other routines keeping me organized/grounded and give me momentum, yet if I could add a dash of ritual to them might possess more depth, meaning, and potentially a sense of needed magic to my life.
A sense of magic I like to think if I need then perhaps we all could use a bit more of.
The structure of routine creates a consistency framework which comforts while the sacredness of ritual energizes us
Here’s the plan for adding ritual-magic to my practices:
🧘🏽 Infuse Intention & Mindfulness
…even during things like my v e r y routine doodle-walk.
Transform a routine into a ritual by approaching it with deliberate intention and heightened awareness.
I’ve turned my morning coffee routine into a ritual by consistently using a mug a favorite human gave me, slowing the caffeine-guzzle and taking a moment to set intentions for my day. This simple act of intention and mindfulness has transformed a routine activity into a meaningful ritual infused with purpose and energy.
🕯️ Include Symbolic Gestures
full disclosure: this one has been a challenge for me—not so much the execution, but it still feels a little silly. and that’s ok.
Incorporate symbolic gestures or actions into routines in an effort to add additional layers of meaning (ritual!) For instance, when making dinner-for-one I could light a candle to signify the importance of nourishing myself or I could play calming music (as opposed to the 90’s hip hop I tend to favor) to create a soothing atmosphere.
Yes these small rituals could elevate my everyday activities and make them feel sacred and special.
Nope I’m not there yet.
🫂 Maintain Connection
We can use routines as opportunities for connection.
One of my favorite chore-routines is mopping. Solo I make it fun (I mop and then skate around the house wearing mop-socks to dry the floor). Typically though my daughter asks to join me (ritual! connection!).
She picks the soundtrack to our cleaning (always musicals), she mops, I skate behind her and the golden doodle acts as though none of this has happened before and runs around ‘screaming.’
Until I began journaling about routines vs rituals I’d not framed mop-sundays as ritual—yet they absolutely are.
If she’s with me it’s connection.
Solo it’s classical music + mop socks + screaming doodle—I think that’s the very definition of ritual, right?
Just as some Westerners can’t conceive of life without running water, electricity, and commodities, indigenous people in tribal Africa can’t conceive life without ritual.
Malidome Soma
As we navigate life, it's too easy to fall into the trap of viewing routines as obligations to be checked off a to-do list. After reflection, however, I've landed on an approach that infuses magic into these efforts.
Intentionality.
When we infuse our daily practices with purpose, we elevate them from routine to energizing ritual.
The best part? The shift in perspective doesn't require an overhaul of schedules; it's about reimagining the moments we already have.
Whether it's transforming a commute into time for personal growth (podcasts, anyone?), or turning a wind-down into a gratitude practice, the opportunities for ritual-creation are endless.
Remember, it's not about adding more—it's about savoring what's already there.
Now you.
What habit or routine could you turn into a ritual with a small shift anchoring it to more meaning?
Intentionality. Intentionality. Intentionality. I’m really working on calling attention to the smallest things so, by example, my granddaughters learn to stop and see the gift of routines and rituals. Having them in my life has been the best reminder of slow focus.
Great post!
I'm an aspirational cook who, almost weekly, tosses a crisper full of lovely vegetables into the trash.
That sentence has the potential for SO MUCH routine AND ritual (and self-care and budgeting, for that matter).
So the routine would be to prep the vegetables when I get home from the market. Or at least do that the next morning.
And the ritual would be the meal planning and preparing, the place setting and centerpiece, and the music.
And all of that begins with self-care, which I am not doing a great job of lately.
As always … you make me think and plan, and you give me hope.
My one new ritual has been to take my coffee to my front porch before I head to my desk to open my laptop. My intention is to gradually turn those few morning minutes into a few more that look like meditation. There's too much evidence out there that meditation is a healthy and kind way to treat oneself (there's that self-care again).
I'm not there yet. The pull of connecting via email and the socials is real.
I guess what I'm saying is that after all this time of being alone in my life, I'm floundering as to how I want to navigate it. I'm impulsive, not deliberate. I don't stick to schedules or routines because I don't have work or people tugging at my time.
Maybe it's time to reboot.