Be a Shamash.
Illuminating Paths to Positivity and Purpose.
It’s been years (!) since my then-Child and I had our big talks about making new friends and what do to when you can’t find a nice person to hang out with.
Time has flown.
It’s been fun.
That said, it also reminds me of what I’ve written before with regards to fully living in our bodies versus merely going through the motions of life encased in a skin-sack.
(bear with me. this will make sense in a moment.)
Using that sentiment as lens, I’ve been back in Austin for years, but not lived in Austin since I got divorced.
I’ve spent time here. I’ve made friends. I’ve reconnected with old friends. I’ve done little to weave myself into the community other than showing up.
I had a vague sense of these feelings (for me fully living somewhere means immersing myself in the community) but never put the sentiment into words until I stumbled upon Rabbi Wolpe’s tweet (X? tomato tomahhto).
Be a shamash (the helper candle whose sole purpose is to ignite others) he exhorted via social media. Use your spark to set other lives on fire.
Those 140 characters captured exactly what I have not been doing enough of offline in the ATX.
I’ve not served as Shamash in Austin in the same way I sought out/took advantage of these opportunities during my time in Oakland.
Your light burns brighter the more you spark the flame in others.
Since I’ve read the tweet I’ve challenged myself to come up with general acts or attitudes which would aid me in bringing light wherever I go.
Any gestures of kindness or reminding others of their inherent value which would serve to banish darkness or loneliness.
I’ve come up with five:
Remind others of their potential. When we believe in ourselves, we show up differently in the world. This is showing up confidently and unapologetically ourselves is contagious precisely like a flame. It’s a way I can be the light and know the light will maintain momentum even when I’m gone.
Listen. Completely, wholly and silently. Especially to those who may have no one else who wants to hear them.
Seek advice. Ask for help. We all have a basic desire to feel needed. We all feel more alive when we know we matter. My seeking other people’s counsel and acting on what they suggest helps me and serves to ignites the other person’s flame.
Offer connection. From Crappy Dinners to small acts of kindness. This year, more than any other, I’ve relearned the lesson everyone has a hard. Even when it’s not discernible on the outside most of us crave connection we aren’t receiving.
Provide help. Provide. For me this is different from offering. I do not want to give people opportunity to brush off my offer or decline. This doesn’t mean I wont ask people to clearly define for me how they would like to receive assistance. It does mean I’ll be gently persistent and consistent with my offer.
I won’t end this admonition for us all to be the light.
It’s bigger than that.
I want to make this change.
I want to remain permanently changed and consistently bringing the light.
And you?
How might you be a Shamash in your community? What could you do to share your light with others?