Stability Seeking
The art of creating consistent life anchors
Whether you listen to the VoiceOver for accessibility, because you’re more of an auditory learner or so you can grab some movement while we’re together—it will consistently be an option.
Once upon a time I had a bullmastiff named Hercules (pour some kibble out for our fallen homie).
He had more than a few quirks one of which fascinated me more than the rest.
Before he’d fully sit on the couch (I’m that person. Not only do I allow dogs on furniture–I encourage it.) Hercules would gather the fleece blankets with his paws and “plump” them.
He’d scrape and collect and moooove the blankets around appearing, in essence, to attempt to create a perfect spot in which to plop.
The problem, however, was once he started Hercules could not stop the plump.
We bipeds would joke he’d get stuck in a loop and the only way to end the Herc-plump was to quite literally (and lovingly) knock him over.
Said toppling was no small feat (plumping canine was 150+ pounds), yet it was precisely what the situation required.
Recently I’d found myself in a Herc-plump of sorts.
Stress, fear, scarcity mindset, uncertainty—all of it coming together such that I moved from one to the next fretting and forgetting what I know:
Worrying is praying for what I do not want.
It wasn’t I didn’t have people to metaphorically ‘knock me over’ and pause the plump — I needed more than that.
I intuitively knew my situation required something to weigh me down.
Something to make me feel tethered.
Have an anchor so life doesn't toss you around.
- Debby Ryan
The concept of anchor comes from Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
As defined by NLP, anchors exist as links to emotions. They serve to spark us into desired states of being/frames of mind.
I felt wobbly.
My remote/WFH-space felt wobbly.
The table at which I sat 3 times a day for meals and all the rest of the day for work was literally pretty damn wobbly.
This unsteadiness had seeped into my subconscious.
I craved solid and sturdy.
I knew how I was perceiving my environment was how I was creating my reality.
this anchor isn’t portable.
Ok, but I’ve already got a table—what else?
For me, the big ass anchor (BAA?) of my new live-edge table feels perfect.
Solid, weighty anchor-perfection.
You could:
Create a Personal Symbol:
Design/choose something that holds personal significance. It might be the outline of an object, a detailed image, or even a word.
Whenever you see or visualize this symbol, it serves as a reminder of your desired state of being or mindset and helps nudge you there.
Story aside: I once signed in for a yoga class behind a woman who used a symbol in place of her name. Yep like Prince. Yep, I’ve long wondered if it was her anchor.
Develop/Discover a Mantra or Affirmation:
This one is pretty common and it’s common for a reason: it works.
Identify a phrase or mantra that encapsulates your goal state of being and/or mindset. Take your time (do a search online for quotes, look in books…) and really focus on words which resonate. Repeat this mantra regularly, until it becomes tightly associated with key focal aspects of your life.
For me making an effort to incorporate a mantra into my daily routine tremendously helps to reinforce its significance to my brain.
Imagery or Visualization:
Imagine a place or scenario that represents your ideal state of being or your aspirations. This is kinda sorta my table as I’m a human who rocks the words and NOT the visuals. My table is a physical representation which serves for me as a daily reminder I’m tethered, I’m grounded, I’ve got this.
We can endure almost anything if we are centered if we have focus in our lives. You can endure if you have an anchor.”
― R. Weems.
My new anchor, meticulously crafted with its intended, weighty purpose in mind, is everything I never knew I always wanted.
It serves as a solid constant in the midst of change.
It offers a steady foundation and provides precisely the anchoring predictability needed to navigate life-transitions.
Now, when currents in my world threaten to cause me to become stuck in a Herc-plump, I stop, sit, breathe, touch and I’m grounded again.
And you?
Have you felt the need for anchors?
What currently anchors you to the mindset and life you are choosing to create?
It's my ever-present journal (more like a commonplace book) of ideas that resonate as truth. It's a collection of the pasted, scribbled, remembered, borrowed moments that anchor me to the stories I want to frame my life around -- intentionally. It's an anchor of what I know and what I'd like to pay forward. It's well-loved pages and volumes are visited weekly. It's my equivalent of a comfort blanket :).
Yes. [smile]
My late husband's default was no. He had to be talked into just about anything we did together. So the past year has been practicing saying yes to anything that felt right to me – invitations, trips, listening to new-to-me music, etc. And it worked so well, that I absolutely DO want 'say yes' to be my anchor for life.