GLIMMERS
One woman's commitment to searching for the small stuff
Whether you listen to the VoiceOver for accessibility, because you’re more of an auditory learner or so you can grab some movement while we’re together—it will consistently be an option.
I’m not a fan of the word trigger.
I mean, I am a believer in its existence (see also: masters in counseling I’m only peripherally using), I’m not a fan of the appropriation of the term by my daughter’s generation.
By Gen Z.
At times around here, it can feel all the things are triggering and the term has become more of a buzzword.
This may be why I did a metaphorical eye roll the first time I heard the word glimmer.
The concept, coined by Deb Dana, LCSW, and popularized on TikTok by psychologist Justine Grosso, refers to small visual cues that move our bodies toward cocoon-like feelings of safety and connection.
While glimmers are ephemeral (there’s that English Lit degree I’m also only peripherally using), these micro-moments spark a sense of joy or connection which prompts our nervous system to feel calm.
👉 Experts say making the glimmer mindset shift has a positive impact on our mental health.
👉 Carla says I’m in. Anything that only asks I’m present and consistently pay attention I can wholly commit to in 2024.
If step one is committing consistently (isn’t it always?) then step two is figuring out how to know what we are looking for.
In the darkness, there is always a glimmer of light waiting to be discovered.
- Rachel Gillig
How to Identify Glimmers:
Reflect on positive experiences
Here’s the thing and precisely what prompted the text exchange above: as humans sometimes life feels overwhelming and it’s hard to remember a time when it did not. That’s ok. It’s a reminder to pause and gaze in that rear view mirror for a while.
Close your eyes and visualize a time when you felt c-a-l-m and worry-free. This can be recalling anything from a favorite day to somewhere you’re longing to travel (hello Costa Rica!) or, if you’re Carla lately, a place you may not be certain exists—yet can absolutely create in your mind.
Stumped? Grab a pen and paper and doodle what relaxation and joy looks like to you. Create and save a voice note on your phone about how you feel when you’re in a place of positive calm.
Consider what makes you feel nurtured both now and as a child
Glimmers are flashes or moments which spark ease, relaxation and an overall sense of being cared for. If we are committing to seeking more of these moments, we first need to define what causes us to ‘feel good’ so we are better able to consistently access the feeling of being nurtured.
Perhaps set aside some time to journal about memories (childhood or recent) of feeling cared for. Write about specific experiences, smells, sounds, sights, music or activities which evoke in you a sense of loving connection. There are clues here around the glimmers you can look for on a daily basis.
Create consistent connection
Great news about our brains: there already exist patterns of connection which are waiting to be ignited/strengthened and glimmers are often an outgrowth of this connection.
Who in your life exists as a living safe space (living not necessarily human—pets provide this)? If it’s a human make it a practice to consistently reach out to them. (If it’s your golden doodle make it a practice to consistently snuggle them on the couch even if they resist).
Haven’t yet met a human who feels like a safe space? That’s ok! As we seek to create glimmers in our life—let’s ‘speak it till we see it.’ Ask yourself what this person would be like: write a description of them, sketch what they look like—create this person and their characteristics
Glimmers activate the parasympathetic nervous system — associated with relaxation and calm.
— Dr. Deb Dana.
Clearly glimmers will look and feel different for each of us, yet the key takeaway remains the same:
Consistently recognizing small, positive moments shapes our nervous system and mindset.
We can retrain our brains to seek out glimmers (precisely as I texted Kelley above) in the same way we ‘train’ any other muscle in our body.
Now you.