We don’t lose consistency because we’re incapable we lose it because we say yes too fast. Here’s why reflexive yeses derail routines and how to choose the right ones.
A great piece indeed! I completely agree with the thoughts and reflections by Carla here.
One thing with unchecked yeses is that often the quality of the deliverables is watered down. I mean "the touch and go" kind of output which does not only erode self trust but also erodes the self confidence and ability to give it your all. That moment when you are constantly rushing to execute tasks and becomes sort of a last minute person who is inconsistent.
Perhaps the next article should be on "how to say No". I struggled with this in the past years, thankfully I got to a point where I became very intentional about my goals and priorities. After crafting these, I became clear on where I wanted to be and at what time. I knew where I wanted to have a mastery of skills. It is certainly not a walk in the park but self strategizing, commitment with regular reviews snd evaluations. I am steadily getting there.
You’ve captured it beautifully and perfectly with the intentional goals. When we are clear around our priorities, it becomes abundantly clear where the YES should come in.
Also, it was an entire shift for me when I realize no matter how great the opportunity I should never ever ever ever ever say yes in the moment. Ever :-)
Every 'yes' has a price. As does every 'no.' I'm learning as I go along. One of the most valuable lessons I've learned in my 'say yes' life is that I originally adopted the practice as a reaction to my late husband's default of 'no.' The first year after he died I was all in on everything. The second year, still in, but not for everything (often because I didn't want to overcommit.) This year I'm being consciously judicious.
Tangential to the topic: I'm reading 'The Reading List.' A widower in the story reflects that the second year after his wife died is the first year he began and ended a year without her. I really FELT that. 2024 was that year for me.
Oh, writing a memoir is definitely on my list. I'm hosting a tiny writing retreat with a couple of friends in June, and I hope to have something to share with them at that time. (Agreeing to host the retreat was a BIG say yes for me.)
A great piece indeed! I completely agree with the thoughts and reflections by Carla here.
One thing with unchecked yeses is that often the quality of the deliverables is watered down. I mean "the touch and go" kind of output which does not only erode self trust but also erodes the self confidence and ability to give it your all. That moment when you are constantly rushing to execute tasks and becomes sort of a last minute person who is inconsistent.
Perhaps the next article should be on "how to say No". I struggled with this in the past years, thankfully I got to a point where I became very intentional about my goals and priorities. After crafting these, I became clear on where I wanted to be and at what time. I knew where I wanted to have a mastery of skills. It is certainly not a walk in the park but self strategizing, commitment with regular reviews snd evaluations. I am steadily getting there.
You’ve captured it beautifully and perfectly with the intentional goals. When we are clear around our priorities, it becomes abundantly clear where the YES should come in.
Also, it was an entire shift for me when I realize no matter how great the opportunity I should never ever ever ever ever say yes in the moment. Ever :-)
This https://carlabirnberg.substack.com/p/the-yes-dammit-and-no-yay-effect?
Every 'yes' has a price. As does every 'no.' I'm learning as I go along. One of the most valuable lessons I've learned in my 'say yes' life is that I originally adopted the practice as a reaction to my late husband's default of 'no.' The first year after he died I was all in on everything. The second year, still in, but not for everything (often because I didn't want to overcommit.) This year I'm being consciously judicious.
Tangential to the topic: I'm reading 'The Reading List.' A widower in the story reflects that the second year after his wife died is the first year he began and ended a year without her. I really FELT that. 2024 was that year for me.
My first thought, after reading your comment and reading your Substack, etc., was:
I really wish you would write a memoir.
But then I realized I’m giving you an assignment or attempting to do so :-)
So instead, I’m going to say that I’m off to add that book to my Libby
And the book? I now want to read or reread all the books on the list.
Oh, writing a memoir is definitely on my list. I'm hosting a tiny writing retreat with a couple of friends in June, and I hope to have something to share with them at that time. (Agreeing to host the retreat was a BIG say yes for me.)
OH!!!!! I love this so much.
Please, please do not hesitate to let me know how I can support you in this.