The Subtle Power of 'Each' vs 'Every'

shifting our perspective on habits

Photo by Prophsee Journals on Unsplash

The other day I received an email from a friend that stopped me in my ‘I was literally out walking when I read it’ tracks:

I’ve recently been loving the concept of 'each' day vs. 'every' day. Especially as it comes to habits...my friend shared.

It’s hard to say you are going to do something EVERY day when all you can control is today. AND when you don't do something you say you were going to do that day using the phrase EACH day allows you to start over time and time again.

Reading this, I felt a subtle shift in my perspective, the kind that makes you pause and reflect. As someone who has long advocated for the two-day rule, my friend's insight added a fresh perspective to habit formation, perfectly complementing my philosophy.

At first glance, the distinction between each and every might seem purely semantic, yet it carries significant nuances for how we approach consistency.

While every demands perfection and creates that all-or-nothing mindset (the polar opposite of our TCA framework!) each is a more nuanced and sustainable approach.

Here’s how:

🕗 Each transforms our relationship with time

When we say every day, we're making a sweeping commitment about the future: a future we can't always control.

It's placing a burden on our tomorrow-self, often leading to anxiety and overwhelm. Each day brings us back to the present moment. This present-focused mindset aligns with the reality of habit formation: it happens in the present even if it impacts our Future Selves.

⚖️ Each creates a forgiving framework for progress

The word every carries an implicit threat: miss once, and the chain is broken.

The perfect streak is ruined.

Each stands alone, offering us a fresh start each morning. This doesn't mean we abandon our commitment to consistency; rather, it means we understand consistency is never about perfection. It’s about showing up again and again, especially after we believe we have fallen short.

Each invites self-compassion, reminding us adaptability and forgiveness are pivotal parts of progress. When we view each day as its own entity, we recover more quickly from setbacks and are FAR less likely to let one missed day spiral into a week of inaction.

🤝 Each helps us build authentic relationships with habits

Every can feel like an external command, a rigid requirement imposed upon ourselves. Each, however, feels like an invitation, a choice we get to make anew as each day unfolds.

This subtle difference transforms habit formation from a test of willpower into an ongoing dialogue with ourselves. It acknowledges while our goals remain consistent, our energy, circumstances, and capacity will fluctuate.

This approach strengthens consistency by making it more sustainable. It's the difference between carrying alllll the groceries to the house from the car at once versus breaking the bags down into manageable loads to carry over a few minutes. Both actions achieve the same goal; the internal experience is completely different.

Shifting from every day to each day transforms a rigid demand into a mindful invitation.

As we collectively continue to build and refine our habits, let’s adopt my friend Mark’s semantic suggestion.

Let’s move to gentler, more realistic language and, instead of declaring I will exercise every day, try saying Each day, I give myself the opportunity to move my body.

Instead of I must write every day, consider Each day brings a new chance to write.

Or instead of I will save money every day, try Each day offers a fresh opportunity to make thoughtful financial choices.

This isn't about lowering our standards; it's about creating a consistent and sustainable path to meeting them.

After all, we KNOW the most impressive achievements aren't built on perfect streaks, but on the willingness to begin again, each day.