I want you NOT to want me
the power of REJECTION GOALS
I was recently interviewed by Vox about how I tap into the power of REJECTION GOALS.
Here’s the thing: rejection is often seen as a setback, but I view it as an important element of achieving consistency. Instead of avoiding rejection, I lean into it analyzing what it reveals about my approach, refining my strategy, and using it as fuel to persist.
For me rejection isn’t proof of failure; it’s evidence that I am in motion, taking risks, and pushing beyond comfort.
By focusing on achieving rejection, I remove the emotional sting and turn it into data. If a pitch, project, or idea is turned down, I ask: What can I learn? Where can I adjust?
This thought process reframes rejection as part of the process rather than a stopping point. It keeps me from internalizing a NO as something devastatingly personal and instead re-frame it as directional feedback.
By integrating rejection into my process, whether in work, writing, or yep dating, I build the muscle of resilience.
In the long run, for me and I bet for YOU, it’s not about avoiding rejection it’s about setting those rejection goals using them to stay in the game long enough to win.
Great post. Not sure I would chase rejection, but I would definitely agree all journeys are filled with obstacles and challenges—but then again that is what makes the journey worthwhile. And, of course, each presents myriad opportunities to adapt, overcome and to take new paths. If we can remember all journeys are in essence a process not an event I think it helps us consistently embrace the journey.
I so needed to read this! The rejection resiliency muscle is one I need to develop, particularly when it comes to my creative work. I had a group meeting with a manager on Zoom. He reviewed our project ideas and gave everyone tips on how to pursue them. Everyone except me. He belittled everything I had done and dismissed the actors who had worked with me. I was so crushed that I didn't write ANYTHING for months. I love the idea of turning this around into evidence of making progress, of being in motion, of trying. I'm about to go out with another script in a couple of weeks (finally), and I'm going to set rejection goals (and take many deep breaths along the way).