Personal Commandments
creating stepping stones to our Future Selves
Years ago, as I watched the piece of cinematic wonderment known as Bruce Almighty, it dawned on me:
I craved a set of commandments.
I didn’t need yet another mission statement (I annually create/revise 2-3 of these).
I longed for a set of overarching, non-religion based principles to guide the remainder of my life.
I carefully considered the woman I aspired to be and how Id need to behave in order to become her.
I pondered the impact I wanted to make in the years I had left and challenged myself around precisely what characteristics would be required to make this difference in the world.
This was 21 years ago (!) and 15 years before Benjamin Hardy would teach us all about the concept of Future Self.
And yet, as I close in on the double nickels birthday as they say, the eight commandments I created back then still serve as guideposts for my life.
A life which looks a lot different than it did a few decades back, yet the core and essence of which remain the same.
After my viewing of B.A. (which I now need to re-watch) *and* the dawning of my great idea, how did I create my commandments?
📌 I brainstormed…nonstop
I found a quiet space and made time to sit with pen & paper (now I’d probably use my notes app) and made a list of my core values and beliefs.
I wrote and wrote until I could not think of another thing.
I included the big stuff (doing unto others) and the small (whenever possible have a dog around…dogs are the answer to everything).
📌 I prioritized (& eliminated)
I next prioritized my list by considering which values resonated with me most deeply.
I challenged myself around which were purely aspirational and who I *wanted* or hoped to maybe someday be.
I posed to myself questions like, "Which of these do I prioritize in my daily actions and decisions in a consistent way?" and "Which values bring me the most fulfillment and satisfaction?"
After I prioritized, I took a critical look at values I liked but which were not essential.
I’m a believer in never MUSTurbating (more on that another day, but in my 3x3x3© coaching we focus on jettisoning MUSTS & SHOULDS) so I deleted values I *felt* I "should" prioritize but that didn’t really resonate.
I knew in order to focus on those that truly mattered—I needed to eliminate the maybes.
📌 I made ‘em broad & flexible
As I crafted my commandments, I wanted to ensure they were broad enough to apply to situations I couldn’t yet envision and flexible enough to accommodate changes in circumstances.
I avoided being too specific/prescriptive with my list as I knew this would limit their applicability.
I aimed for commandments which could be interpreted differently depending on context yet would consistently align with my core values.
Pro tip: Do not skip this step. I could NOT have ever imagined I’d be divorced. Broad and flexible concepts are key.
📌 I refined & rephrased
Once I was finished I reflected on each and considered how well it aligned with my values and truly ‘felt like me.’
I eliminated again and revised some to better capture my intent.
Next I smoothed my phrasing and made my list more fun/appealing.
I wanted each to be expressed as a guiding principle in my life, sure, but I’m a marketer at heart.
I craved catchy.
📌 I Road Tested
And I was off!
As I integrated the commandments into my daily life, I paid attention to how well they really worked to guide my actions and decisions.
I recall realizing certain ones were not as effective as I'd hoped and I revised revised revised.
Eventually I landed upon a list of eight.
A list which still feels like a summary of the fundamental principles by which I live.
8 broad by design, non-punitive mini-goals.
‘Commandments’ which I consider and use as guiding principles whose meaning may shift depending upon the life-scenario.
1. Be B.R.A.Z.E.N.
2. Master the Mundane
3. Get in the Front Row
4. Walk it out
5. Remember to quit
6. Beware of Brain Stories
7. Create margins
8. Shamash Shamash
Admittedly it was a p r o c e s s to create my list.
A journey of craft, revise, live, revise—repeat.
It was also a memorable and transformative experience demanding of me introspection, self-awareness, self-candor/honesty and connecting with my Future Self even though I didn’t yet have the term.
And you?
Have you created ever anything like personal commandments? If not, would you now?
Are you familiar with my FAVE quote “All of life's riddles are answered in the movies”? Have you seen THAT movie?