You know that moment after something goes sideways, an interview, a presentation, a first date, and your brain immediately starts building a highlight reel of what you should have done?
My friend and I have a take on this. We look at each other (or text) and say, "No Ragrets!" (yep, like the famously misspelled tattoo). At first it was simply us being ridiculous. Now it’s our shorthand for, You’re human. You did your best with what you had. Keep moving.
On the surface, this sounds empowering: why dwell on the past when you can focus on your next step? And sometimes, that’s exactly what we need. Yet if we skip the deeper part, we miss the point.
Consistency isn’t about a perfect streak. It’s about the bounce-back: the moment we regroup, take the lesson, and try again. “No Ragrets” doesn’t mean we pretend the mess-up didn’t happen: it means we don’t let it flatten us. We mine it for feedback, keep the hard-earned wisdom, and continue, maybe even stronger than before.
Regret is realizing a different choice might have led to a different present. It’s holding two realities at once: the world as it is, and the world as it could have been. That gap is what makes regret both powerful and painful.
What if regret wasn’t something to avoid, but fuel for consistency: less dead weight, more compass pointing us toward what to try next?
4 ways regret helps build consistency:
Regret extracts meaningful lessons
Consistency is about showing up again and again, even when we mess up. Regret highlights the gap between our choices and our values. The more we pay attention to this, the better we get at recognizing patterns and making decisions that align with what we care about.
Regret reconnects us with our values
Regret is a signal to pause and ask: What matters most to me? Where did I go off track? Asking this consistently helps us realign our actions with our priorities and live in a way that feels authentic to who we're becoming.
Regret builds self-trust
Facing regret honestly and consistently (not just once and moving on) strengthens our trust in ourselves. We prove to ourselves that we can handle missteps, adjust, and keep going. Over time, this practice becomes the foundation of real, earned confidence.
Regret deepens empathy
Owning our regrets softens us. It reminds us that no one gets it right all the time. When we engage with this consistently, we grow more compassionate toward ourselves and others, building stronger, more genuine connections.
Ignore regret, and you lose the feedback loop that fuels growth.
Regret invites a rhythm: reflect, adjust, return.
And, when we see it this way, regret sits at the heart of consistency.
I regret staying in situations long after they stopped fitting mistaking that for consistency. Turns out, real consistency means aligning with who we're becoming, not clinging to who we've been.
What’s one regret you *now* see has shaped who you’re becoming?
Let’s keep learning, and showing up, together.
Deepening empathy and building self trust. Admirable goals and wonderful results