A MarginFull Life
living at 80%
Once upon a time, I was offered an amazing opportunity.
I couldn’t believe it.
I was excited.
I looked at my stacks of notes scrawled on scraps of paper hi-level, organized schedule and concluded I couldn’t say yes.
I was committed (work stuff).
I was busy (life stuff).
I simply could not fit in another thing.
I recall like it was yesterday how disappointed and overwhelmed I felt as I drafted an email declining the opportunity.
I knew my schedule should never be so jam-packed I was incapable of adding another thing.
I knew I needed to build in space so if an opportunity of any kind emerged unexpectedly I could say yes.
I chose to make the opportunity work—but not without stress and significant juggling.
Flash forward a few years & I found myself in the same position:
Impending move
Stressed-out-by-move child who required focused time with a mama who wasn’t distracted.
Even more work deadlines.
I was screwed backed into a corner as the phrase goes and to my chagrin this corner had become a familiar place.
So much so I’d begun to assume this pattern was how life was was meant to be.
Medium stress. Medium stress. HIGH STRESS. Medium stress. Repeat.
I was capable of lolloping along in a semi-stressed state right up to the point life threw *any* extra stuffs my way.
These stuffs, whether good or bad, immediately overwhelmed me.
I was in this frazzled, frustrated place and attempting to self-soothe through pen to paper journalling when staring at the blank page made everything suddenly clear to me:
I needed to learn to leave margins.
I needed margins.
At long last, I had my ah ha! moment.
Margins.
The visual power of the realization resonated with me as I’d already known of my tendency to fill spaces (and sometimes forget to pause).
Literal spaces (clutter clutter) and metaphorical ones (it took years of a counseling masters program for me to learn to ‘sit in the silence’).
In addition, as a writer the use of the word margins was something I understood.
It conjured images of how, as a child, Id write story after story on white, unlined paper.
I’d scrawl and create and fill all the spaces so when I finished not a speck of white (AKA margin) remained.
I overloaded.
I needed to leave virtual margins in my life.
I needed a spacious gap between the have-to’s and the limits in my world.
I needed a cushion between my load (work, life, family, everything) and my breaking point.
It was time for a change.
I committed to living life at 80%. I choose to leave room for the unexpected. Through living this way I ensure, if/when it happens, I’m not already maxed out, depleted.
I committed to living life inside the lines (admittedly a bizarre notion for me). I’ve chosen to reside in the space where I can b-r-e-a-t-h-e as opposed to maintaining a panicked existence in life’s over-zealous edges.
I committed to drawing margins in Sharpie. I actively and consciously create a cushion between living & overload. I choose daily to fight to maintain/prioritize this space.
In essence, I’ve begun treating the entirety of my life the same way I’d already approached fitness:
I do less than I am capable of each day so I can greet the next 24 hours with excitement & SPACE to do it again.
And you?
Am I the last to grasp the notion of life needing margins?
How do you maintain space or margins in your life?